Episode 145

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Published on:

1st Apr 2026

How to Talk with Kids About Death and Other Hard Topics (with Dr. Elena Lister)

Dawn Friedman hosts the Tell Me It Will Be Okay podcast and interviews therapist and adult and child psychiatrist Dr. Elena Lister about her book Giving Hope: Conversations with Children about Illness, Death and Loss (co-written with Michael Schwartzman and Lindsay Tate). Lister explains that asking children about difficult subjects—including death and suicidal feelings—doesn’t “put ideas in their head,” but builds trust and opens communication, noting kids already think about these topics through experiences like Disney movies, nature, and news events. She emphasizes caregivers being grounded and “steady and sturdy,” using delaying or revisiting conversations when needed, admitting mistakes, and allowing children to set pace while keeping doors open. Lister shares her family’s experience when her daughter Liza was dying, discusses talking about uncertainty and differing beliefs about afterlife, offers guidance on cremation and funerals, and highlights that mentionable is manageable.

00:00 Welcome and Guest

02:55 Fear of Saying It

05:53 Disney and Death

07:42 Start Before Loss

10:50 Grounded Parent Mindset

12:43 Deer in Headlights

15:42 Good Enough Parenting

16:44 Classroom Disclosure Story

23:24 Anger and Humanity

26:55 Distress Tolerance Check

30:19 Death in the News

35:00 Living With Mortality

37:05 Aging and Nature

37:58 Afterlife Questions

40:26 Family Beliefs Clash

42:02 Living With Uncertainty

43:01 Grief Work Origin Story

45:25 Schools Can Talk

47:47 Let Kids Set Pace

53:41 Child Life Support

55:47 Cremation Explained

57:55 Funerals and Rituals

01:02:09 Preparing Kids for Loss

01:05:46 Final Thanks and Wrap

Mentioned in this episode:

Tell Me It Will Be OK: The Practice

🌟 READY TO FIND YOUR ROOM TO BREATHE? Tell Me It Will Be OK: The Practice is a weekly, 30-minute audio-guided journaling sanctuary designed to help you connect with your own inner wisdom, calm, and connection.ry a free 30-minute sample session today and lock in your spot on our priority waitlist for the July 8th launch. Get your free sample session at OpenBookParenting.com!

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About the Podcast

TELL ME IT WILL BE OK
a parenting podcast with Dawn Friedman MSEd
Tell Me It Will Be OK is the conversation for parents of anxious kids who have read all the books, listened to all the experts, and still feel like something is missing.

Host Dawn Friedman, MSEd, has spent over thirty years in the trenches with families as an educator, family case manager, and clinical counselor. She knows that in a world of climate crisis, political upheaval, and digital noise, there is no such thing as a "quick-fix" script or a one-size-fits-all solution. Parenting bright, sensitive, and anxious children requires more than just a new technique—it requires a paradigm shift.

Each week, Dawn moves beyond the "how-to" to dig into the "why" and the "what now?" through:
--Deep-Dive Interviews: Conversations with researchers, activists, authors, and practitioners who look at the big picture of raising children today.

--Practical Wisdom: Evidence-based clinical insights (including SPACE and infant-toddler mental health) applied to the messy reality of daily life.

--The "No-Need-To-Be-Perfect" Philosophy: Shifting away from anxious perfectionism and toward the inner wisdom that helps us connect with our kids when things are hard.

To learn more about Dawn and the work that she does, you can check out her site, Open Book Parenting.

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Dawn Friedman